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  • Fostering Independence: A Guide to Gradually Pass Responsibility on to Your Teen

    Parents want to do anything and everything they can to help their children. From the time that they’re born, parents are there to support and care for their children however they can.

    But as your child grows up, you have to take a step back and let them learn life lessons. This means completing tasks and chores on their own, taking on responsibilities, and even making mistakes and falling down so that they learn how to pick themselves back up again.

    Seeing your child make mistakes or struggle isn’t easy, but think of it as an essential skill that can help your child develop a sense of responsibility that can help them move forward in life. Consider this to be your guide for fostering independence and gradually passing responsibility onto your teen.

    1. Be Open and Honest with Them

    The teen years can be hard for you as a parent and your teen. The teen years are often compared to the “Terrible Twos.” It’s important to try to get on the same page as your teen without overstepping or invading their personal space.

    This means that as a parent, you have to make sure that you’re actively listening, being clear, non-judgmental, and empathetic. Make sure that you’re also being mindful of your body language and tone of voice. As your teen seeks more and more independence, make sure you’re taking just as much time to listen and understand where they’re coming from instead of talking and just giving the final say.

    2. Cooking and Cleaning

    As a parent, you’re probably used to cooking all of your child’s meals for them and cleaning the entire house, including their room and their clothing. Start to include them in some of these daily or weekly tasks.

    You can have them make a grocery list with you, go grocery shopping, meal prep together, and do the dishes. Encourage them to clean their own room by dusting, vacuuming, and making their own bed. Learning these basic skills can give them a greater sense of responsibility and empower your teen to take care of themself.

    3. Time Management Skills

    The teen years mean that your teen is learning how to adjust to attending different classes or maybe even a new school with new teachers and classmates. And on top of all of that, they have to find time in their day to balance their schoolwork, friendships, and extracurricular activities.

    Try to encourage your teen to use a planner to keep track of their schedule. You can also help them break up their tasks into smaller and more manageable chunks or to-do lists. Time management skills should include teaching your teen about a balance of working hard, having fun, and relaxing.

    4. Financial Management

    Work with your teen on understanding the value of a dollar by budgeting and saving. Have your teen manage their own budget from their allowance, chores, or a part-time job. Managing their own finances means that they may make some poor choices, but they will be able to learn and grow from these experiences.

    Next Steps

    There are many approaches that you can take as a parent to pass responsibility onto your teen and help foster their independence. These are just a few of the different ways that you can work with your teen to gradually give them more roles and responsibilities.

    Just because your teen is becoming more independent doesn’t mean that you need to take a full step back. You’re just letting go a little so that they can become the person that they’re meant to be. This is one of the hardest parts about parenting, but it’s essential for both you and your teen. Reach out today to learn more about our therapy services for teens and how we can help both you and them on this journey to adulthood.