The Hidden Struggle: OCD and the Challenge of Being Understood

When Reaching Out Feels Risky

One of the most basic human needs is the desire to be seen, heard, and understood. Real connection often happens when we let our guard down – when we’re honest about our internal battles. But for people living with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), opening up can feel like walking a tightrope. The fear isn’t just about judgment – it’s about being misunderstood, misdiagnosed, or minimized.

What Makes OCD So Hard to Talk About?

Let’s face it – most people have at least some reference point for common emotional struggles. You might not personally deal with panic attacks or body image issues, but chances are, you can empathize. There’s a shared vocabulary, a cultural familiarity. But when someone tries to describe their OCD – the relentless doubts, the mental rituals, the irrational yet overpowering thoughts – that shared understanding often disappears.

And when there’s no shared understanding, real connection becomes a lot harder.

The “Invisible” Mental Health Condition

OCD isn’t rare, but it often goes undetected – even by trained professionals. The truth is, many people with OCD suffer quietly for years. Why? Because symptoms aren’t always visible. Unlike disorders that show more clearly through behavior or mood shifts, OCD can be internal. You can be having a full-blown OCD spiral while sitting completely still, smiling through a conversation, or performing well at work.

That invisibility is part of what makes OCD so isolating. People often don’t realize that their friend, sibling, partner, or coworker is suffering intensely – right beneath the surface.

Why It Often Goes Misunderstood – Even By Those Who Care

Here’s the heartbreaking part: even when someone with OCD does take the brave step of opening up, they’re often met with blank stares, dismissive jokes, or misguided advice. It’s not always malicious – it’s just that many people don’t know what OCD actually is.

For example:

• Someone with “just right” OCD might hear: “Oh, I’m totally like that too – I hate when my desk is messy!”
• A person struggling with Harm OCD might be told: “Whoa… maybe you should talk to someone.”
• A person dealing with Existential OCD could be met with: “You think too much. Try not to worry so much.”

These responses, while often well-intended, can be deeply invalidating. They send the message that the sufferer’s experience is either trivial or scary – neither of which are accurate or helpful.

Disclosure Dilemmas: When and How to Open Up

So should someone with OCD tell others about what they’re dealing with? There’s no one-size-fits-all answer.

Disclosing personal mental health experiences can be empowering – but it can also be overwhelming, especially if the hope is to receive reassurance, validation, or control how others see you (which, for those with OCD, can itself become a compulsion). It’s important to get curious about the motivation behind the disclosure:

• Is it a way to build connection?
• Is it part of a therapeutic goal, like exposure?
• Or is it a subtle effort to control or neutralize anxiety?

The intention behind the disclosure matters just as much as the disclosure itself.

Why OCD Feels So “Different” from Other Conditions

One reason OCD is so often misunderstood is because its themes can seem bizarre or even absurd to someone on the outside. What might seem irrational – like mentally repeating phrases to “prevent” a loved one from dying – can feel viscerally necessary to someone with OCD.

And while most people can understand fears related to real-life danger or self-image, OCD themes are often abstract, symbolic, or taboo. This makes it harder for people to empathize – not because they lack compassion, but because they genuinely can’t relate.

Playing the Long Game: Choosing Your People

Ultimately, not everyone is going to “get it.” And that’s okay. The goal isn’t to convince the world – it’s to find your people. The ones who might not fully understand your experience, but who are willing to listen without minimizing or judging.

Sometimes, being selective with what you share and with whom you share it is an act of self-respect. Vulnerability is powerful – but it’s not always about spilling everything to everyone. It’s about knowing when the risk is worth the connection.

Final Thought: OCD Doesn’t Define You – But It Deserves to Be Understood

If you’re living with OCD, know this: your experience is real, even if others don’t fully grasp it. You’re not weak for struggling. You’re not dramatic for wanting to be heard. You don’t have to educate everyone, but in the process of choosing who to let in, you just might find the kind of connection that makes the struggle a little more bearable.

Your story is worth sharing – not for validation, but for the possibility of being seen. And that, for anyone, is a deeply human need.

Reach out for OCD therapy when you both are ready to get started.